Introducing Rosemary, my second girl, my second R, my second blue-eyed, long-lashed beauty. This one has red hair. Maybe my payment for waiting so long to have babies is that I got my wish – a curly-haired girl and a redhead. Both are perfect.

Rosemary Newborn

Rosemary reminds me of all the things I forgot from the sleep-deprived haze that was Ruby’s babyhood. The softness and sweet smell of their identically fuzzy heads. The feel of their fingers around mine. The grunty zombie-esque sounds they make. That one leg kicking out like they are trying to start a motorcycle.

It makes me a little sad this is my last one, a little sad I’ll forget this, too. That in just two years, I won’t remember how my babies felt in my arms. I understand now why mothers always want to hold other people’s newborns. It’s to capture again for a moment that precious lost time when their babies, too, were small.

Ruby vs. Rosemary - 3 months

That said, I am tired. I have a 2.75-year-old, a 3-month-old, a novel I’m querying agents about, a novel I’m editing for a friend, an exercise routine to lose my last two pounds of pregnancy weight (plus 39 more), seven tons of laundry, and oh yeah – my day job at Candy Apple Costumes. I’m trying to maintain some semblance of a social life as well, and remember to kiss my husband and thank him for being less Neanderthal than a lot of men around these parts. We have a weekly date to watch The Walking Dead or Homeland or True Blood, depending on the season, and the rest of the time the TV is tuned to Caillou and Super Why.

Probably the hardest part is that Ruby, while adoring her sister to the point of trying to squish her to death with hugs a la Elmyra, is also taking it pretty hard that she has to share Mama and Daddy. She falls out in the floor crying every time the slightest thing doesn’t go her way, refuses to potty train, talks in an unintelligible whine half the time, and starts slapping at us and yelling “Hol’ me! Hol’ me!” every time someone picks up the baby.

Ruby & Ro

At first this made me sob with guilt on a daily basis. I felt so terrible that I couldn’t give her everything she needed anymore. So terrible that my exhaustion and crazy hormones made me snap at her instead of just sitting down and cuddling with her, which is all she really wanted when she acted up.

Now things have evened out a bit. We take her on fun outings, spend special alone time with her, and read her umpteen zillion books a day (her favorite thing to do besides try on clothes). I’m guessing the only thing that will really help is time. She’s only had three months to adjust to her world turning upside down. In the mean time, wish me luck.

posted by K | filed under Family, Pregnancy, Ruby | 8 Comments


8 Responses to “Love Grows”

  1. Norma on March 5th, 2013 5:18 pm

    What beautiful girls! Congratulations :)

  2. Jayne on March 6th, 2013 4:22 am

    She’s beautiful! My son’s wife’s sister and her husband are going through exactly the same thing with their babies. Natasha is 3 and Cheyenne is 3 months and Tasha doesn’t like to share Mommy and Daddy at all. They’re doing the same thing you are, trying to give her special time while the baby’s sleeping and such, so we’re all hoping that time takes care of the jealousy. I hope the same for your girls.

  3. Catherine on March 11th, 2013 1:30 am

    I miss reading about your house blog but now life has moved on to babies. God blessed you with two adorable babies. My now 4 year old refused to potty train until she was 3 years 2 months and then she was ready and poof life was easier. It’s amazing what they do when life turns upside down. Good luck being a mom to two, when you only have 2 hands to begin with :)

  4. t in hd on March 13th, 2013 5:13 am

    It’s the age, I promise! I remember when my second child was born, my first had just turned 3. I’d always heard of the “terrible twos” and nothing about 3. Well, she’d been a doll at 2 and I thought her frightening transition was due to baby #2. It wasn’t. Five children later, I’ve learned, it’s the age!! Three is just really, really hard. Especially with girls (the whiiiiinnnnniinnnnggggg). My little guy will be 4 months old on the 15th and my 3 y.o. has been pulling out all the stops to make sure she can be as difficult as she possibly can (and as utterly adorable, too, of course!). So, dump any guilt you are feeling and rest assured that, even if Rosemary hadn’t arrived on the scene and Ruby was still an only, she’d probably be much the same as she is now. ;-) Congrats on your gorgeous girls. And I totally get that sadness knowing this is your last. I’m feeling that too, and trying to soak up every blissful moment with my lovely, squishy, drooly sweet baby. Enjoy your sweet girls!

  5. Ivy on March 31st, 2013 8:48 pm

    Ooh, I haven’t been by in quite some time, so this is really thrilling news. Congratulations! :)

  6. Jan on April 17th, 2013 7:29 pm

    Congratulations on the newest addition to your family and it’s good to see you back.

  7. Kristin on April 25th, 2013 11:23 am

    Thanks, guys! Two more months have passed, and the drama continues. Glad to hear it’s at least partly just the age. It gets downright nightmarish around here on an almost daily basis. Sometimes I think she’s possessed! I just reread The Happiest Toddler on the Block, and it’s helping me deal a little better.

  8. Kristin on April 25th, 2013 11:27 am

    Oh, and P.S., Ruby did learn to use the potty one magical weekend! Life=changed! Went from changing five poopy diapers a day to one!

Leave a Reply