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Saturday, January 2nd, 2010
This baby does not like having her nether regions photographed, which is a good thing in most contexts but less-than-ideal in gender determination. My belly is still a little sore three days later from how much and how hard the ultrasound tech had to poke and prod to get even halfway decent “toilet shots” of the bambino. The tech, who was very very nice and thorough, asked, “Am I hurting you?” but I - wanting to know, once and for all - said, “No, just do what you have to do.” And so she did.
Still, after nearly an hour of struggling, she never could get a shot clearly showing the classic girl “cheeseburger,” though we never caught a glimpse of anything resembling the usually-obvious boy “turtle.” The tech did seem quite confident anyway and gave us 95 percent odds of having a girl. She said she would be very surprised if this baby turns out to be a boy, and if it does, give her a call and let her know about it.
Afterward, we felt confident enough to have our photo taken with our first “girl” picture, and we started calling up the relatives to make the “It’s a Girl!” announcement. We went to the conveniently located Hobby Lobby across the street and bought girly stickers for the baby book. We went to Babies R Us and bought baby’s first dress - an adorable tie-dyed number with matching blue pants.
D was excited and certain right from the start. Me, though … maybe I’m a glass-half-empty kinda girl, but when I hear a number like 95 percent, my mind goes straight to that mysterious 5 percent and all the what-ifs that it contains. What if, after all this it’s-a-girl announcing, it turns out to be a boy? What if we have to return this tie-dyed dress with the adorable hood? What if I get myself trained to say “she” and then it’s a boy and I have to retrain myself to say “he” again?
Somehow, I’m just having a hard time believing this is really a girl. Before we found out, people were always asking me if I had a feeling one way or the other, and I always said no. I had no clue if it was a boy or girl. But somehow, now that it’s 95 percent probably a girl, I feel a little weird - like maybe all along I did think it was a boy.
Or maybe it’s just because for the past year every adoption situation has been for a boy. This time last year, I really wanted to have a little girl to play dolls with and style her hair in pigtails. But over time I saw how excited D got every time he thought about having a little boy, and I started wanting that for him. Besides which, we got so close to having a son that I’d already gotten used to imagining myself as the mom of a boy, and I liked that image.
I think somewhere along the way I stopped thinking about what it would be like to have a girl. I didn’t linger too long on the cute girly quilts at Pottery Barn Kids or the pink polka dotty outfits at the baby store. Instead, I focused on the stuff with puppy dogs and dinosaurs, to prepare myself to be psyched for the inevitable boy.
Now that it’s a girl (well, probably), I feel a little lost. Am I really allowed to buy girly stuff now? Is it okay to be excited? What happened to the imaginary boy child we’ve been calling Elliott - will we have him one day, or is he gone?
Of course, D doesn’t seem worried about any of this. He touches my belly and addresses it as his “little girl.” He’s taken up the pronoun “she” without a hitch.
I think I just need a little more time before it feels real. Oh, probably about 16 days time … that’s how long before my next ultrasound, the big diagnostic ultrasound at my regular OB. If we get another girl reading that time, maybe I can finally believe it.
yay!! i’ve been checking all week wondering when you were going to announce what you were having. i was kind of the same way…i always had a feeling it was a boy (but secretly wanted a girl) and when they told me that mary margaret was a ’she’…well, i didn’t believe it was possible. but unlike your little lady, mm was always cross-legged in-utero and ALWAYS had her goods on display. hehe
anyway, congratulations! little girls are hands-down the best. :-)
Oh, congratulations!! Girls are so much fun–I’ve got three ages 6 mos., 5 yrs. and 12 yrs. They’re so cute when they’re little but when they start to grow up, as my oldest is, the mother/daughter relationship that starts to develop is just lovely. Boys are great, too, though! I just LOVED having a baby boy but he’s growing up now, too.
I understand the needing time to get used to it. I was absolutely convinced my last baby was a boy and always called it “he”. When my daughter was born and I discovered the sex (I delivered her myself so no one else knew what she was) I was utterly shocked to find she was a girl. She was a preemie and whisked away to NICU and I kept expecting them to come back and tell me my baby really was a boy after all, that I’d been mistaken, LOL!
I’m so glad you were able to find out and I hope you get that reassurance you need at your next scan. Have FUN!!!!!
I’m always secretly jealous of mamas having baby girls. My boys are wonderful & lots of fun, but oh, the frilly dresses I can’t dress them in!
And the name I never got to use. :-P
Don’t worry- you don’t get a choice. Girl or boy, you’ll love her/him as is. Lots. Most of the time ;)
Girl….or boy…..it’s all good, Kristen. Healthy is most important. When you hold in your arms the wonder and preciousness of your newborn babe, trust me, it’s sex won’t matter a bit.
YAYYYYY! A baby girl! I know what it’s like to try to convince yourself something is not going to happen (in your case, a female). Let it sink in for awhile. It’s real!!!! From my experience, any time a baby has not wanted to show it’s ‘parts’ it has been a girl. My case included.
You’ve been waiting so long for this! Congratulations!
Congratulations and I hope she is a girl but when my daughter was pregnant she was also told it was a 95% cahance of the baby being a girl , she was named Ella and lots of pretty pink things were bought for her but after a c section Jayce Robert appeared , all 8lbs 10ozs of him so you never know !
Awwwww! Darwin’s involvement and excitement is so darn sweet! I’m jealous. LOL. Actually I am so incredibly happy for you! I so hope I get to meet your precious little lady someday!