Bought two pairs of shoes. Ate fried chicken, waffle fries, and a Chik-fil-A milkshake. The cashier’s name at Chik-Fil-A was Greg. Of course it was. Could it have been anything else? Threw up milkshake because head hurt so bad from crying. Slept 12 hours.

It is morning, and life still sucks. I am numb and not numb. I am thinking maybe we should just give up and spend all our money traveling the world instead. Seems like the universe is against us anyway.

People throw babies away in dumpsters, and use their children as pawns in their chess games with each other, and neglect them, and abuse them. So many people seem to not care about them at all, and yet when it comes down to adoption, suddenly they care – or think they should, or act like they do.

Meanwhile, we can’t get even one child to love, cherish, guide, teach, love.

I don’t know how to pick up and continue with life. Samantha Brown is on. Maybe we should go to Milan.

posted by K | filed under Adoption, Misfortune | 6 Comments


6 Responses to “Cures That Don’t Work”

  1. Joyce on September 20th, 2009 2:47 pm

    You got it wrong! He doesn’t give a shit — he IS one. Surely the mother still has a say in this and the court should have an even more powerful say. It doesn’t sound as if she wanted to get rid of her son, just give him a better life. Good luck.

  2. Debbie on September 20th, 2009 3:59 pm

    I agree with Joyce, hopefully the mother will tell her side in court and it won’t be completely over.

  3. K on September 20th, 2009 4:17 pm

    His mother definitely doesn’t want to get rid of him. She doesn’t want him to go live with his father and is hiring a lawyer on Monday to fight him. But even if she gets custody of G, his father would still have to consent to an adoption, and he is not doing that. Our lawyer is sending our money back (what isn’t already spent). It really is over. There is nothing we can do.

  4. Deborah on September 20th, 2009 6:46 pm

    My heart hurts for you. My children’s adoption story was very different, but the horror of the uncertainty still takes my breath away nine years later.

    I know it is easier said than done, but take a breath, take a rest, step back from it all for a moment. Be so very gentle with yourself, for your loss is a real one. You may hear a dozen people say “Your child is out there” but at times like this it is cold comfort. Grieve all you need to. It isn’t fair.

    I’m wishing a light st the end of this tunnel for you.

  5. A on September 20th, 2009 9:16 pm

    So sorry to hear your news, I don’t think there is a cure, but I hope the pain is lessening some with time.

    It probably won’t help, but thought I’d share a story. My best friend and her husband went through something similar when they were adopting their daughter. They actually already had the baby when the birth father changed his mind and wouldn’t sign the papers. It ended up dragging on for several months, including some court proceedings, but he eventually saw the light. She just turned 4 and although what they went through was very hard, it faded and they now have a beautiful little girl. I’m not suggesting that you should continue to contest here, but I hope that maybe this will provide some hope for a light at the end of the tunnel.

  6. Teresa on September 21st, 2009 9:48 am

    I am so sorry that the adoption isn’t going to work out. As a teacher, I had children whose parents I said I wouldn’t even give them one of my cats to take care of. It does seem unjust that someone who wants to take care of a child would have so much trouble finding one. I will keep praying and hoping. Never give up your hope.

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